How To Choose A Life Partner
ST. JOSEPH`S CHOSEN CHURCH OF GOD
EHAEKPEN DISTRICT COUPLES DAY CELEBRATIONS WITH THE THEME MAKING A GLORIOUS HOME
PAPER ON HOW TO CHOOSE A LIFE PARTNER AND PREPARING FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE BY PST MRS. JOYCE .J. A. EMOFONMWAN OF GATEWAY BIBLE COLLEGE ON SATURDAY 8TH SEPTEMBER 2018
MARRIAGE AS A CHRISTIAN
I give God all the glory, it is a great thing to know that even in this times that many young ones are rushing into marriages and also rushing out there are still selected few that want to know the will of God concerning choosing a life partner. I am honoured to be the one chosen to give a talk on this wonderful topic.
We are going to start from the garden of Eden, it all started in a place called “The Garden of Eden”
1. THE GARDEN OF EDEN (GENESIS 2 V 1, 18-25)
Every man and woman that God created have a partner that the Lord God Almighty has prepared for them, just like the case of Adam and Eve. The Lord first of all prepared a wonderful home full of all things that they will need to start their lives with before he created them and place them in the garden to dress it.
Therefore, before any man will think of choosing a life partner he must first ask the Lord to prepare him a garden and give him his life partner so that both of them will dress the garden (i.e their home together).
2. REBECCA CHOSEN AS A WIFE FOR ISAAC. GENESIS 24 V 1
There are rules governing a believer concerning choosing a life partner there are conditions that he will follow, a Christian brother or sister must not choose a life partner outside the faith (i.e. the church), that is what Abraham told his servant – Genesis 24 v 3
3. THE WILL OF GOD.
The servant prayed unto God for his will to be done Genesis 24v12. The servant realized he cannot chose a life partner for his master’s son, he sought God for help. He said behold as I stand here by the well of water, and the daughters of the men of the place come out to draw water, and let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink and she shall say I will give thy camel drink also, let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shown kindness unto my master. There are times that when the Lord has answered ones prayers, doubt may set in, but remain focused, the servant wondered at Rebecca too, but he held his peace, to know whether the Lord has answered his prayers or not – Genesis 24v21
4. THE FAMILY GENESIS 24V23
- Your spiritual father: when you have prayed and received confirmation from God the first person to meet is your pastor.
- The parents might be the second person you will meet.
- Medical test: The couple will go for medical test and after that they will start the general progress towards their engagement and determine a favourable date for the wedding.
But during their courtship period the couple is ‘expected to have a holy relationship, they must desist from fornication and they should be active in the church and stay on the safer side of holiness.
THERE ARE DON’TS IN A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE COUPLES
- Avoid hugging each other, holding hands and kissing
- Avoid sitting on each other laps
- Avoid staying indoors alone with each other for a long period
- Avoid be alone in isolated places at odd hours
- Do not put your hands under her skirt or through his flap
- Avoid sleeping or lie together on the same bed with each other
- Avoid undressing in each others’ presence
- You must avoid touching the breasts, vagina and penis
- You must avoid sex with each other, ( because that is fornication) because it is not given you to do that
N/B: – you have to start counseling in your church especially in the sister’s church. For three months, it also depends on the church, some are’ six months.
The lady is supposed to be in control of the relationship, because if anything such as a sin of immorality should occur it will be her fault, this is because even though men are usually under a lot of sexual tension in the relationship, the sister must never give in to his pressure. The sister must keep herself holy for the Lord until the wedding night that is when she is already his wife anything outside that is sin.
THE PREPARATION FOR THE NATIVE LAW AND CUSTOM, CIVIL MARRIAGE, AND CHURCH MARRIAGE
There are three ways of getting married.
THE CIVIL MARRIAGE:
This is done in accordance to the civil law of the land
- In Nigeria the marriage ordinance prescribes that a certificate must be acquired from the local government authority, granting a month period during which a couple must be married after they have been published at the city councilor ( the church for three weeks.) if no one opposes the marriage within one month, the marriage may take place.
- A legal register must be signed by at least by two witnesses.
- Parental, consent is desirable, encourage are much sought after.
- It is a crime to marry again while still married under the marriage ordinances.
THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE (This is for the involvement of both families)
- The couple families get together and the sister’s families traditionally hand over their daughter after customary rites are duly performed.
- The rites vary depending on the families and tribe some families consider this to be a full and proper marriage and expect the couple to live together afterwards that is where the church need to come in, the pastor of the couple can bless the union by praying for them if they do not want to wed.
- Customary marriage is a polygamous arrangement ( in this kind of marriage the man can marry as many as he wants) the church believes it is proper for her member to marry under the marriage ordinance because legal marriage under the ordinance does not permit polygamy.
THE CHURCH MARRIAGE
In the church kind of marriage, (the couple vow to obey God’s law In relation to marriage and also to have the marriage sealed by God.)
- The Church conducts the vow and blesses the couple.
- As far as the Church is concerned, you are not married unless this is done.
- The Church also publishes the names of all couples getting married on its notice board for at least three weeks so that if there is any objection to the marriage, it may be voiced.
CONCLUSION GOD’S REASON FOR MARRIAGE
1. Avoid the problem of loneliness,
- for the man to have a helpmeet for him i.e for the woman to be a helpmeet for man Genesis 2 v 18,
- to avoid immorality 1 Corinth 7:1·2
- to reproduce i.e. to have children Gen 1v26-28
The absence of children does not nullify your marriage. Similarly, it is not the arrival of children that validates the marriage.
Thank you and May God bless our marriages in Jesus Name. Amen.