MAKING A GLORIOUS HOME
ST. JOSEPH’S CHOSEN CHURCH OF GOD
EHAEKPEN DISTRICT COUPLES DAY CELEBRATIONS WITH THE THEME MAKING A GLORIOUS HOME
PAPER ON HOW CAN YOU MANAGE AN IMPERFECT HOUSE HOLD AND WHAT ARE THE KEYS AND SECRET TO A LASTING MARRIAGE? – BY APOSTLE JOSEPH A. JACOBSON –THE RECTOR- GATEWAY BIBLE COLLEGE- ON SATURDAY 8TH SEPTEMBER 2018
Marriage is one of the most important phases of life. It is very interesting and unique when it is strengthened, enriched in love, fulfilling when its laws are respected.
Many marriages are crashing due to the fact that most people venture into it without really understanding all that they are committing themselves to for the rest of their lives. As a result of this lack of understanding, many are experiencing many surprises and upsets.
Marriage entails a total commitment of two persons (husband and wife). As Christ did not hold back anything to His church, so too a husband and his wife must not hold back anything from the other.
Marriage is a pledge of mutual fidelity; it is a partnership of mutual subordination. Marriage is a refining process that God will use to have us become the man or woman he wants us to become.
Before I go to my main discussion, let me digress a little by letting us understand what marriage is all about.
- Marriage is a gift from God
- Marriage is an opportunity for love to be learned
- Marriage is a journey only the couple will determine the end. But by God’s standard it is a journey of no turns back.
- Marriage is a call to servant hood.
Every home should be a safe heaven, a barrack for producing spiritual offspring and a place where happiness, love and peace abound. Very unfortunately, many homes are like war zones so much so that there is no united voice to challenge Satan; etc.
The home is the most basic and the oldest social institution in society. The collapse of marriage system has affected all institutions, the church and government.
Many homes are Living in pretence; what they post for public view is opposite the condition of the home. Some homes are in turmoil, fussing, arguing and fighting. Innocent children are left wondering if this is the way life is supposed to be.
Marriage is a union of two different people from different background sometimes different nation, language, race, denomination etc, etc. the journey could be rough along the way but the roughness may not last long; however, this depends on maturity of wisdom and understanding.
The church as ‘an institution is never and should not be placed above the families; the worship of God in the church is the gathering of families. Believe it or not, the strength of any church and of a society is in the quality of its homes. According to Charles Dickson, “In love of home, bthe love of country has its rise”.
There is a deceitful game “A devil at home, a saint abroad”. There are parents who are gracious outside but unkind, harsh and careless in the home; such a person or family has not and will never enjoy God’s approval. No matter the pretence, one day, what is inside will certainly come out. StART NOW, TO MAKE YOUR OWN HOME “HOLY OF HOLIES”.
God is the centre and the success of every marriage in other words, marriage involves a man a woman and God who is the main anchor that holds both the man and the woman (husband and wife). It is very worrisome to note that many marriages have chased God away so they begin to live together in great wonders, fear and distrust to each other. This is one of the many reasons some marriages are now struggling without God.
- Marriage is a call to perpetual friendship
- Marriage is also a call to suffering
- Marriage.is a refining process
- Marriage is a way of life
9. Marriage involves intimacy in all areas.
- Marriage is a school of learning.
- However, marriage is often times influenced unresolved issues.
MARRIAGE AND LOVE:
- Marriage is to cleave (welding together)
- Needs loving relationship/ understanding.
- There are marriages that are like cold and still waters, yet no fighting/ quarrelling; yet, they cannot express their feelings.
- They should allow the first love exist and not to terminate when they have become married.
- Marriage love can either live or die all depends .
- There is reinforcement in love.
LIKELY CAUSES OF CONFUSION;
- Unresolved differences/ recognition of one’s uniqueness.
- Inability to provide for the basic needs of the house.
- When unmarried daughters are living in the home
- Third party involvement; in-laws, brothers/sisters etc
- Keeping concubines or extra marital life
- Preferred son/ daughter to others.
- Suspicious/ distrusts! Order and counter order.
- Improper management of money to mention but a few.
POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE ROLES IN-LAWS;
- Positive/ negative interference/ influence.
- How supportive or unsupportive?
- How do they feel about your initial relationship before marriage?
- How has your in-laws helped to influence your marriage?
- Custom differences
- What is your present relationship with your in-laws?
MARITAL/ FAMILY CONFLICTS
• When the senior serves the junior.
- When rights and privileges are abused
- Intra family conflicts arising from negligence.
- Living and dying with an unforgiving heart.
- Anger; it comes out of (1) Hurt (2) Fear (3) Frustration.
CONCLUSION: Do not be too quick to respond. Think wisely, avoid harsh manner, step back, relate and think for a moment or else you will live to regret your actions when they begin to bounce back. God holds you responsible for how you treat your family. Do everything possible to make your family worthy of emulation. Be a role model. QUOTATIONS: Psa. 127; Gen. 2:18; Provo 18:22; Psa. 141:3; Eph. 4:29; 1 Tim. 5:14; Provo 31:26-27; Lam. 3:27.